uncharted.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month.

take good care of yourself & those you care about.

i hate people.

they’re unreliable. rude. & ignore you for no good reason.

some friends certain people are. 

guess that just means more time for me :-)

that sick feeling in your stomach when an awful memory of an awful person comes up & won’t go away..

and i can’t even bring myself to talk about it.

sucks.

less than three months!

excited isn’t even the WORD.

my summer is about to be boring probably, just cuz I’ll be in class & studying most of the time. I’ll most likely spend by 20th birthday in class. meh. but at least I’ll be in Nashville. which I’ve missed oh so much.

this year has FLOWN by. 

one.

i’m officially one year single & have never felt better in my life. it’s crazy. 365 days ago i was the epitome of miserable & sad & a whole bunch of other crap. but today and all the time these days, i just feel amazing. it’s my single-versary & i wanna party like it’s 1999! i mean not really (cuz i was obviously like 7 during that year), but i’m just happy for myself because i feel so dang wonderful. life … is … good.

I just broke my immaculate diet & ate a cookie.

*cries deeply* but I was doing SO well .. & yet I regret nothing.

currently wrestling with my subconscious.

and either way it goes, I feel like I’m losing.

i like the fact that i’m in a better place than i was a year ago.

and i’m never going back.

doing what needs to be done.

this week I made a personal decision to cut someone out of my life and I am praying that it is for the best. I’ve known this person going on two years.. and yet a majority of said time I’ve known them, they’ve done nothing but make me miserable. I can’t believe I allowed someone so toxic to influence my life and bring me so much misery. and the fact that I dismissed it all and other people who told me they were bad for me.. just makes me feel so much more foolish. I’ve prayed about it. God has brought me through so much. and I’m praying that I’m making the right choice now. so much pain, hurt, stress.. I’ve gotta let that go. and with that I need to let them go. all we do is fight, disagree, argue.. and it’s unhealthy. I’m working on building myself up and being stronger and I can’t let someone else’s bad energies and disagreements and whatever other insecurities hold me back. if they were more of the person they pretended to be then maybe this would be a different story but for now.. for now I’ve gotta let them go. you’re no good for me. and until you are.. you need to be gone. 

trapped.

i feel stuck.

like a toxic poison is in me eating me alive. 

and it is driving me to near insanity..

I hate people.

No I mean I honestly do. The human race is full of lames, idiots, pathetics, fakes, & fools. Who all seem to interact with me at one time or another & test my nerves. Which has made me come to the conclusion that I honestly hate just about everyone. Obviously there are exceptions. & they know who they are. If you ask & you’re not, tough cookies. Everyone else can go plank in rush hour traffic. It has been that kind of day today, I tell you. That is all. Thanks for reading.

i’m getting worse and worse at controlling my feelings.

thepeoplecouldfly:

i wanna count up all the times he’s been more bad than good for me, wait till there’s one too many, and cut him out. 

don’t wanna care. 

i really don’t. 

relevant.